no treats for being self-employed
when employees do a good job, someone is responsible for that pat on the back, that small raise or bonus, the faux-gold trophy award.
when i do a good job for myself… gee it’s quiet here. (gee i’m already overcommitted and i also need to plan a celebration party for myself 
and what if no one else, anywhere, at all, notices my good work? what if there is no customer, no client? was it really good? how would i know? is that praising voice inside, the one i trust implicitly, just trying to please me? is it’s goal only that i’m happy and placated?
i have time for reflection i rarely had. otherwise, how could i manage priorities? so i reflect on why my friends lack time to reflect, as i lacked.
i’d become addicted to the meaningless but genuinely delivered praises of my employers. shouldn’t my own praise to myself be more important? yes… so why not? is there not enough of it? am i not credible!?
fortunately, every morning i wake up enthusiastic to do the next thing, well planned towards more likely success. Luck does favor the prepared. Empiracally proven.
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